Last call

Last days of vacation. I hate those, since they are the most stressful. Probably because when a vacation starts, I always load myself up with tasks & 'to do's', most of which I obviously don't accomplish, rest and avoiding tasks soon becoming my priority. So, I shouldn't be surprised that once more, I have not done half the things I set out to do during my vacation, even the important ones. I rested by living another life, a slower beat with no hours, no day and no night, no right time to eat breakfast or sleep, and not worrying about the next day (since it was always another vacation day, anyways), since only the ones that had a 24 or 31 attached to them seemed important.

I have readied myself for the last weekend and this last day of the year with a coffee for the morning (morning not yet defined by a.m.), the people that matter for the night, an old friend's letters, and a few old philosophers and the album that touches me to fill in the cracks. I guess that should be plenty, for this last call.

It is a shame that those tasks & 'to do's', those lists (starting by my resolutions) and every number and name attached to every day now resurface and threaten the comfortable little womb I had knit for myself.

Vacations are never what we expect them to be. But I appreciated that unexpected, however mundane it may have seemed.

Evil brothers Claus victorious over millionaire tycoon Mickey once more

Define a 'dive'

Too much. [The clip is way too fuzzy to my taste, but the idea is there.] Imagine the smell of a dirty mop wafting in the air and an egg sandwich, and you are there.

The not-so-secret Santa

Xmas has just hit me, the food, lights, shopping, crowds, gift wrapping, and cards: bring on the eggnog! But after so many years, I still can't gift wrap for shit (but I have perfectioned my anti-peeking mechanisms, Mary).

My sis can wrap a gift and make it look like origami, whereas I sorta just crumple and tape and hope for the best (fold and tape, what is so hard about that?). Well, once again, I managed to make a huge tear in the paper, which kinda made the bow placement obvious (no no, bows in the utmost corners are reeeeaaalllll fashionable this year!). I've other talents (so I tell myself)

Joyeux Noël to everybody! (And I really hope you like my gifts!)

Sunday

Ok, I'm back. Friends, family, school, cleaning, laundry, emails, reading, walking, seeing; life, I'm back. Oh, and this holiday mid-point, 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off, falls on a Sunday, traditional day of cleaning, both mental and physical. So, I've alot to do...
[Side note upon seeing blog published: give me a candy cane and I am minouchka no.2! HA!]

Ma petite puce

Random gift exchanges, not so random gifts?

The gift was 'wrapped' in a nondescript shoe bag. It was that present that remained under the tree until the very end, the one that no one wanted, and it was thrust into my hands in the very last move of the game, by a cunning someone 'stealing' the attractive plush red stocking spilling with sparklies that I had finally manage to wrestle as my own.

This is minouchka, rebaptised la puce à l'agonie, as per her maker's name (aka Karine Fournier), it just seems more fitting, for her and for me.

Bordel

The piles may vary in height, configuration, substance, language, composition, motivation. But this is the essence: this room and my struggle with those piles. I shift them around from time to time, straighten them out so they don't topple, add and take away, bring them back to order when they wander to other surfaces...

Intempérie no.1

[E4/Site 10 - chambre] Avril 2005

My first attempt at audio mixing; close your eyes and imagine the space/sequence. I won't get into the technicalities of the what, why, and where of 1 of 40 fragments of a year-long project. I just feel in an intempérie mood and miss the freedom of such dabblings enormously... I need to create/learn/spew, not read/reason/absorb. Some life decision regrets here...lemons and lemonade, lemons and lemonade.

ps: no, that is NOT me crying.

Beaver fever

Damn beavers, I can't take it anymore! Bell (and yes, they are my carrier, but still) has gone absolutely beserk and is plastering publicity space everywhere with these damn things. Little doggies, fine, geckos, bunnies, frogs, and various other 'pets' we should unconsciously associate with our cell phones (that have us on a leash) will do. But a beaver? Unless they are aiming for a male-oriented audience, I frankly don't get it (it just can't be as lame an association as Bell=Canadian company=beaver...at least, I hope not)

Barber

[En effet, CB, le ton est parfait]

My bad

There are people that you meet throughout your life that just fit, Jenn, I will miss you enormously. My bad for not getting to know you sooner, my oh-so-very-bad. [Gül, I am so very happy you will still be here.]

Isarockstar

Ok, well, until the video blog (vlog) novelty wears thin, here's an embarassing video of moi, for lack of another consenting subject. Yes, well, keep in consideration that the guitar and I had just met (and for some odd reason, I was trying to play Madonna's Open Your Heart...hmmm), and I had taken in alot of, ummm, fresh country air. At least I can laugh at myself!
[May, 2005]

St-James reborn

In this day and age (ouf) when we transform or even obliterate churches, how is it that St-James on St-Cats has not only been freed from the chokehold of seedy storefronts (24kt jewellery stores, striper joints, anything-made-in-China-for-a-buck-piled-into-the-store store, etc.), but can be reborn in such a stunning way? Cleaned, fixed up, and polished, she is breathing freely and well underway to retaking her place within the urban soundscape. [Video I took the other day of 'bell tests']This was one of the first days that access was permitted directly from St-Cats; a clergyman welcomed people at the door. Now how neat is that?

To do

Well, the past week off has been a blur, really. And now, I am starting to realize that there are things I want/need to get done over the next few weeks, and that maybe I should plan out my vacation (urgh!)...hmmm, 'planning' was not an option two seconds ago:

1) Spend as little money as possible
2) Make 5 tourtières, buy wine+eggnog; think and make 'mou' gift for xmas party on the 17th
3) Buy 'not-so-secret' santa gift for sibling
4) Buy birthday gifts for siblings, and other thoughts (lots of 'buying' so far....not good with no.1)
5) Goodbye dinner for DC girly-friend before she leaveth
6) Spend time with family, baking and petting cats (and sister - see, told you your time would come!)
7) Take xmas tree wayyyy out of huge closet, install 11 series of lights, decorate with ornements, sit back and sigh at purtiness (that sounds like a good tomorrow plan...and is FREE)
8) Grrr...write essay no.3 for CW before the 15th... ack! Think 'Sidewalk'.
9) Find someone to help me out in my back-to-back AH dilemma, pronto!
10) Prepare Borromini presentation for the 6th of January; spend two days at Rare Books reading ze rare book (check library opening hours during Holidays)
11) Winterize my place: take out screens from windows, take down shade from balcony (should be done before tree/closet re-configuration - it's all falling into place)
12) [Am I really up to 12?] Spend time fruitfully (hee hee)
13) SELL SELL SELL MF ticket on EBay (and hope for a profit)
14) Take care of Dr. business
15) Go to Musée d'Art Contemporain
16) Christmas cards - am I sending some out this year? Minimum: send Christine's so that it gets there on time!!!
17) Futz around with new MovieMaker software and vlog my little heart out.
18) Write this out on huge Dayplanner in back of door, stop futzing around on the blog and go out and get things done!!!

"Contrôlez ce que vous pouvez"

Les rages de chocolat
Les sauts d'humeur
La peau qui brille...

Bioré, contrôle de la brillance

A clear-skinned, clear-headed young woman looked me straight in the eye the entire metro ride home. You¸, my dear friends, worry about me, I know. I have already thought this through.

There are some things I can't control. I can't control someone else's feelings, their life, their happiness. I can't control tonight, tomorrow, or the day after.

There are some things I shouldn't control. I shouldn't control my feelings, my enthusiasm, zealousness, and sillyness. I should not control my happiness.

Some cards told me that someone important would Fall into my life. Important, meaning a significant contribution. As far as I am concerned, this incredible contribution has already taken place. Everything from this point on is just extra... :)

I'm one of THOSE now...

My friends (more particularly the dwindling FukLuv branch) have a few qualms about my blogger status. They basically worry that if I have a digicam in hand, their pics will be on the site the next morn, with some great caption like 'G didn't want to go for poutine, the jerk!' [and by the way, no popcorn in the household so I had to eat gummy worms. It just ain't the same, dammit!]

I guess they raise a good point: how much of my intimacy should I be divulging here? And who will I drag through the mud with me? Well, rest assured. I won't be quoting Martha Wainwright song titles, turning this into a Jerry Springer take-off, posting tricked or mucho embarassing photos of close ones (of strangers, though..). And some stuff just might be too personal to post [I've eliminated a post after some reflection already]. BUT, I will be posting pics of you. Because like my rabied squirrels, pretty snowflakes, and nice sunny days, you touch me. And if ever anything I have posted offends you, tell me, and I will remove it.

My cemetary is dying

I said Goodbye to my cemetary today. I was probably the only one to really notice how this landscape is being dismantled. I spent one year of my life living and breathing death; six months of it inhaling this interchanger. I've sketched these arteries who knows how many times, blocking out different zones, cutting here, adding there, colour, shade, etc. Zone non-aedificandi, what-ever! I've walked it's labyrinth, extended it's pillars, j'ai figé son béton en images, and I ceremoniously declared it 'Death'. Now, soon, it will be truly gone.

When we are students, we whip out proposals, hypotheticals, utopias. Rendered, presented, and critiqued, they then stay in the back of our minds; when we revisit these sites, we can still see their potential ghosts. My site is being destroyed, and this was the last time I was able to imagine my utopia, walk through it, and be convinced of the potential it could bring to the city. It is the second time I have had to mourn in this manner - milestone projects, serious mourning.

There is nowhere for death to hide now, her tunnels are all abare. And, you know what, I heard her wail, when the tractor dug deeper, I swear. Or, maybe the cry was coming from me... with every picture I had to take. This was a hard death, and thank God I had a camera.

Girating shelving

La manie a dépassé même les sex shops...

My bell!

Christmas is here, and last night, they set up MY bell, yes, my very own bell, on my lampost.

Yummmmy!

Christmas ....mmm mmm good.

Sideswipe

So the 24 got into an accident, right about here. I think it was a way to get me off the bus and walking, Poor guy who had to sacrifice the right-hand miror on his car just to get me out and about.

Display Window Helper Wanted- Must not molest mannequins, apply within

Man, I gotta get me a job at American Apparel...[yes, I took this shot at the 'raunchy' Sherbrooke St. store]

Resolution

I've always had these loose thoughts (good and bad), images (blurry or clear), pics, doodles, and never really set my own little world down into something tangible. I've started too many sketchbooks and left them unfinished. Taken too many pics and just filed them onto my computer. This to me is a new freedom, a new 'purging system', a way for me to express all that I have in those loose leafs strewn about and floating mental images. Impressions now printed.

Thanks Jenn, you sort of inspired me to start this. New things are good (as is plagiarism, but that's a whole other ballgame)

Roller or coaster?

outsider: Are you ever down or depressed?
isac: I'm a roller coaster, really.
outsider: Funny, I've only ever seen you 'Roller'.
isac: Yes, well, when 'coaster' hits....
____________________________________________

It's funny how with the Roller, we actually don't notice how it comes about or even control it. We are happy, period, and that moment is PRIME. Yes, outside sources (them damn boys, silly squirrels, snowflakes) can trigger this giddiness, but we can't really turn Roller on or off.

Coaster, on the other hand, is usually self-inflicted, either from hours on end waiting by the phone (them damn boys), misinterpretations, bad hair, or just a general bad state of being (a bad vibe cortesia)

You can't force a Roller, but you can stop a coaster. Interesting.

Ahhh, who am I kidding, one phone call from the right person, and a coaster vanishes into thin air and in comes Roller...

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