Mr. Vending machine kicks back
So the machine decided to give me some chocolate, which was very unexpected and quite sweet, considering all that change I had inserted such a long time ago. Seeing as how it was in such a giving mood and seemed in full, functioning order, I seized the opportunity and asked:
- "Mr. Vending, if at one point, I hand you another series of coins, I would greatly appreciate from you, the vending machine, a candybar in return."
- "Hmmm" said the machine, its lights dimming behind the glass full of goodies, sleepy all of a sudden.
- "Well, considering you ARE a vending machine, I figure it would be a nice thing for you to do and that you know how such a thing works."
- "Huh...zzz...."
- "And, well" I continued, "I really would LOVE a Crispy Crunch, and will press the corresponding address, C2, in the hopes of getting that bar..."
- "..."
...?
- "But, umm, I realize, sir, you are so terribly tired, and so, when I insert my money, I will not even punch in a code, and let you pick whatever candybar you wish to give me, whatever is less trouble for you, the value does not even have to correspond to the amount I give you...really, it is no bother to me at all. I am just REALLY looking forward to being able to purchase a candybar. Oh, won't a candybar be wonderful...It would make me so happy to receive one, any one, yummy, a CANDY bar!"
Mr. Vending answers unintelligibly, now muffled under his pillow:
- "UUUrrrrgh."
urgh?
He repeats, annoyed: "Are you STILL talking about making me give you a candybar?"
- "Um, well yes, I'm looking quite forward to it now, actually"
- "But then...argh." He sighs, "then, that would mean that, at one point, I would have to give you a whole candybar".
I stare down at my hands, cupping the surprise chocolate I had received on a whim prior to our conversation, and wonder if I even want to open it. It was a gift from Mr.Vending, remember. I notice it's quite different from the average fare this type of machine distributes because it is not a candybar, but rather a small box, which, through the unopened see-thru plastic wrapper sealing it shut, I can see contains only the finest, home-fashioned chocolates. I look more intently at the cute, tiny box; it has an expiry date, 09 JA 01. That means it is best before this date.
I don't know if I will be able to open it, by then, even if chocolate is wonderful and would make me so happy. When I inserted money into the machine, I promptly expected to receive one of the items behind the glass. That is how vending machines work!
- "Mr. Vending, if at one point, I hand you another series of coins, I would greatly appreciate from you, the vending machine, a candybar in return."
- "Hmmm" said the machine, its lights dimming behind the glass full of goodies, sleepy all of a sudden.
- "Well, considering you ARE a vending machine, I figure it would be a nice thing for you to do and that you know how such a thing works."
- "Huh...zzz...."
- "And, well" I continued, "I really would LOVE a Crispy Crunch, and will press the corresponding address, C2, in the hopes of getting that bar..."
- "..."
...?
- "But, umm, I realize, sir, you are so terribly tired, and so, when I insert my money, I will not even punch in a code, and let you pick whatever candybar you wish to give me, whatever is less trouble for you, the value does not even have to correspond to the amount I give you...really, it is no bother to me at all. I am just REALLY looking forward to being able to purchase a candybar. Oh, won't a candybar be wonderful...It would make me so happy to receive one, any one, yummy, a CANDY bar!"
Mr. Vending answers unintelligibly, now muffled under his pillow:
- "UUUrrrrgh."
urgh?
He repeats, annoyed: "Are you STILL talking about making me give you a candybar?"
- "Um, well yes, I'm looking quite forward to it now, actually"
- "But then...argh." He sighs, "then, that would mean that, at one point, I would have to give you a whole candybar".
I stare down at my hands, cupping the surprise chocolate I had received on a whim prior to our conversation, and wonder if I even want to open it. It was a gift from Mr.Vending, remember. I notice it's quite different from the average fare this type of machine distributes because it is not a candybar, but rather a small box, which, through the unopened see-thru plastic wrapper sealing it shut, I can see contains only the finest, home-fashioned chocolates. I look more intently at the cute, tiny box; it has an expiry date, 09 JA 01. That means it is best before this date.
I don't know if I will be able to open it, by then, even if chocolate is wonderful and would make me so happy. When I inserted money into the machine, I promptly expected to receive one of the items behind the glass. That is how vending machines work!
posted by isabellenecessary at 2:32 AM
1 Comments:
sounds like a little passive-aggressive relationship with you two. if he doesn't value you and your candy bar needs, maybe it is time to start shopping elsewhere. of course, he will say: but I am always right here where you need me, the supermarket may be bigger and better, but he is not here. you have no other vending friends than me.
but believe me, he needs you more than you need him.
I sound like a girl.
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