I/we have been searching for an apartment for, well a long time. A peeve comes to me: ads for apartments And I hereby determine the rules for writing rental ads:
1- Write when the thing is available, the price, and the size. This seems a dumb logic, but alot of advertisers don't write these and you have to call, only to find out it is a 1 1/2 at 1200$.
2- Not everyone will be able to consult ads between 9-5, because the ideal tenant WORKS for a living, and thus will probably scan ads when he/she gets home, pooped after dinner, and realize it's already past nine and too late to call. Respond to emails with the same courtesy as you would a phone call. Or try. They are obviously polite enough NOT to disturb you after 9pm.
3- Do NOT launch into a flourished description of the neighbourhood, naming all the groceries, video stores, parks, etc. Someone renting a 3 1/2 probabaly does NOT need to know that it's near so and so primary school. We are smart people, we know Montreal, and chances are, we know that if we rent in HOMA, we will be rubbing shoulders with prostitues, so the fact that you name the convenience if the IGA is irrelevant.
4- Rather, an advertiser should DESCRIBE the space as to not waste both current tenant, owner, and future tenant's time. How many rooms? Are they large or small? And be honest. Lying is ridiculous, since we are bound to find out as soon as we visit that the "solarium" is an unfinished shed attached to the kitchen where there are bugs and you keep garbage bags. Think of this as a Lavalife ad. If you flaunt yourself as a 6'-0'' god-dess and end up being, well, less than that, chances are the guy won't even sit with you through coffee. Be frank, for all our our sakes.
5- Little tidbits like pets being allowed, having washer-dryer outlets, not being in a ugly-ass apartment building may seem mundane, but are criterias of the essence for most of us. The ad is free, give us the goods, man.
6- (This one is a doosey, but has happened to me more than once!) DO NOT PUBLISH THE AD WITHOUT TELLING YOUR OWNER! And don't put your owner's number if you are doing so. He will probably be confused as all hell.
7- DO NOT publish the ad and then be all peeved because people are calling. Heeeelllooo, you put an ad, expect a response! Don't give me that b.s. of "I'm hosting a dinnerparty, can you call back tomorrow between 9-5 and give me you name and number", when you posted the ad less than half an hour ago! Why post an ad before a dinner party? Get one of your guests off his lazy ass to reach for a pen and pencil, and scrawl down the name, and call back when you are sober. I will not leave 3 messages and 2 emails for you to respond, and call back AGAIN to be told "call back tomorrow" AGAIN. I am the ideal tenant, and you are pissing me off. You are not God.
8- If you rent the place, have the courtesy to call back those with whom you have an appointment, or rather, don't book new appointments, but give everyone you booked with a chance to see before renting the place to the first loser. Especially if I was the first one to call. Let me visit, dammit.
9- Do not give specific appointments and not tell the person it is an Open House. Open houses are disgusting, and probably MORE of a hassle for the tenant, who has to follow hoards of people around hoping they don't snatch his stuff, and beg them to remove their boots instead of tracking slush into their bathroom.
10- THE GOLDEN RULE: DO NOT STAND UP YOUR APPOINTMENTS. Twice this happened. BE THERE, the appointment was taken according to YOUR preferences!
