Ode to Tampax
This one is for all ya gals out there...
Easter always reminds me of when I 'became a woman'. Now, I was but a wee lass of 11, naive, and not too quick on the whole birds/bees concept (I still had a cabbage patch doll, for Chrissakes! Kimberley Michele I think her name was...). Anywho, let's just say I was slowwww and I stretched out the good years, probably knowing that teenagehood was bad news!
A few weeks before came a 'false alarm', right in the middle of Woolco. I told my mom I had cramps, she just looked at me and asked if I felt wet. Felt wet? Hmm...Well, I imagined myself in a pool, compared it with what I was feeling, and decided that no, I did not feel wet. We went along our merry way... (fuck I was a stupid child!)
When I REALLY 'became a woman', it was on Good Friday, I was on the toilet, saw blood, and freaked out (OMG I'm dying, I thought!), and my mom came to see me (answering my hurling cries, in the midst of the family flurry to leave for Ottawa for Easter weekend to visit my grandparents). Once in the bathroom, she kneeled in front of me and explained the whole ordeal to me: this, according to her, meant that some day a great prince would come and marry me.
Ok, so my mom isn't too technical and wasn't the 'guiding light' insofar as sexual education (us kids also had to teach her about the effects of pot) and this might explain alot about my childhood, but nonetheless, this moment is engrained in my memory. And the irony, with my previous blog, 22 years, almost to the day, and 264 periods later, is striking.
[Of course, my mom blabbed, and right after, I got the teasing 'soooo, you're a woooo-man now' from my dad, bro, and baby sis. I think my baby sis even flatly said something like: 'Oh, you got your period'. How the hell did she know all this time!!!]
Easter always reminds me of when I 'became a woman'. Now, I was but a wee lass of 11, naive, and not too quick on the whole birds/bees concept (I still had a cabbage patch doll, for Chrissakes! Kimberley Michele I think her name was...). Anywho, let's just say I was slowwww and I stretched out the good years, probably knowing that teenagehood was bad news!
A few weeks before came a 'false alarm', right in the middle of Woolco. I told my mom I had cramps, she just looked at me and asked if I felt wet. Felt wet? Hmm...Well, I imagined myself in a pool, compared it with what I was feeling, and decided that no, I did not feel wet. We went along our merry way... (fuck I was a stupid child!)
When I REALLY 'became a woman', it was on Good Friday, I was on the toilet, saw blood, and freaked out (OMG I'm dying, I thought!), and my mom came to see me (answering my hurling cries, in the midst of the family flurry to leave for Ottawa for Easter weekend to visit my grandparents). Once in the bathroom, she kneeled in front of me and explained the whole ordeal to me: this, according to her, meant that some day a great prince would come and marry me.
Ok, so my mom isn't too technical and wasn't the 'guiding light' insofar as sexual education (us kids also had to teach her about the effects of pot) and this might explain alot about my childhood, but nonetheless, this moment is engrained in my memory. And the irony, with my previous blog, 22 years, almost to the day, and 264 periods later, is striking.
[Of course, my mom blabbed, and right after, I got the teasing 'soooo, you're a woooo-man now' from my dad, bro, and baby sis. I think my baby sis even flatly said something like: 'Oh, you got your period'. How the hell did she know all this time!!!]
posted by isabellenecessary at 11:16 AM
2 Comments:
your blog is a riot! I'm getting addicted to reading it.. when I first got here, I told myself I would read for just a minute.. now, half an hour later, I'm still giggling :-)
Now.. being a boy, I wasn't aware of that magical time girls go through every month for quite a while.. I think I was almost 16 when I first found out.. Needless to say, I was horrified (it bleeds... really?)
So cheer up.. not knowing about it till 11 is perfectly normal :-)
and happy easter :-)
Yes, but let me tell you, since then, I have it in for the Easter Bunny. (Evvvverrr notice, Easter 'eggs', 'eggs'...'menstruation'...that bunny has a hidden agenda is all I am saying, I'm onto him)
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