Stonewalling (don't kick the vending machine)
Relationships are not only fragile, but people in general seem to be more and more unable to communicate. It's no wonder. Even communicating has it's own set of rules now. I myself correct certain faux-pas, like blaming the other person (must use the 'I' formula, not 'You'), being negative, generalizations, etc, according to 'p.c.' productive communication methodology.
Being with someone is not even called being a 'couple' anymore, its a R-e-l-a-t-i-o-n-s-h-i-p. One that most definitely has to be qualified by adjectives, such as 'commited', 'intimate', 'casual', or 'occasional semi-committed'. Describing how you are with someone is more complicated than ordering a coffee at Starbuck's. Defining what you expect from a relationship is even worse.
When did being together get so complicated? I long for that time when you married a man because he had a nice cow and a sturdy frame, and then lived ever after. Not that those pre-industrial marriages did not require work, all meeting of two people who are not conjoined twins requires some sort of work, but how much and what is too much? Is the ideal none at all? I'm not convinced, because effortless seems, well, too perfect and ideal, unrealistic for any mind. Or does the workload depend on the type of person you are? For the Dreamer, too much is some but not as much for, let's say, the Rational, for whom any is too much? Should dreamers stay with dreamers, and the grounded stay afoot?
Stonewalling, as defined in the relationship realm, implies using delaying or stalling tactics, refusing to answer questions, doing whatever can be done to hinder or obstruct a discussion, ie: bluntly refusing to cooperate. It becomes very difficult to resist kicking the vending machine when you've inserted your money and the candybar you've requested is stuck on the end of the metal prong. It also becomes very difficult not to say the machine is a defective piece of crap, get irritated because that was the last of your change, or think twice the next time you consider buying chocolate.
Being with someone is not even called being a 'couple' anymore, its a R-e-l-a-t-i-o-n-s-h-i-p. One that most definitely has to be qualified by adjectives, such as 'commited', 'intimate', 'casual', or 'occasional semi-committed'. Describing how you are with someone is more complicated than ordering a coffee at Starbuck's. Defining what you expect from a relationship is even worse.
When did being together get so complicated? I long for that time when you married a man because he had a nice cow and a sturdy frame, and then lived ever after. Not that those pre-industrial marriages did not require work, all meeting of two people who are not conjoined twins requires some sort of work, but how much and what is too much? Is the ideal none at all? I'm not convinced, because effortless seems, well, too perfect and ideal, unrealistic for any mind. Or does the workload depend on the type of person you are? For the Dreamer, too much is some but not as much for, let's say, the Rational, for whom any is too much? Should dreamers stay with dreamers, and the grounded stay afoot?
Stonewalling, as defined in the relationship realm, implies using delaying or stalling tactics, refusing to answer questions, doing whatever can be done to hinder or obstruct a discussion, ie: bluntly refusing to cooperate. It becomes very difficult to resist kicking the vending machine when you've inserted your money and the candybar you've requested is stuck on the end of the metal prong. It also becomes very difficult not to say the machine is a defective piece of crap, get irritated because that was the last of your change, or think twice the next time you consider buying chocolate.
posted by isabellenecessary at 3:26 AM
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