Hypochondriac

Well, I had accepted a while back that I was a maybe a hypochondriac, noticing that my preferred toilet/bedtime reading when at my mom's what her immense Mayo Clinic Medical Dictionary. [This would be the bestest xmas present ever! (hint hint, nudge nudge)]. I would usually fall asleep drooling on the 'rectal disease' page, or skin disorders (I half-cover my eyes when looking at the colour plates, partly revolted, partly mesmerised), or even worse, some disease named after a dead person (Crohn's disease anyone?).

Further clues came when I kicked ass on Jeopardy and answered all questions under 'Diseases' faster than Tribek could finish answering them. I nailed the double Jeopardy.

I take alot of weird supplements.

Internet just pushed my sickness to new limits; not only can I now search by symptoms, but also read excerpts from other hypochondriac freaks like me. I just did this test, and I scored 80%. My name is Isabelle, and I'm a Hypochondriac.

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I just spent the evening googling 'tilted uteruses', and at least a half an hour on the phone babbling to re-boyfriend about the p's and q's of this predicament with the same enthusiasm as when I told him about my first day at my dream job. I seriously could NOT stop talking about uteruses (of note, I previously subjected my sister AND OB1 to the same discoveries, and can't wait to tell my best friend). I know guys don't want to hear about this stuff, yet I still can't stop talking about uteruses.

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Re-bf's new cat sneezes sometimes; I just sent him (I just hung up with him and our lovely Uterus chat!) multiple links and diagnosed Minime with the Rhinotrachitis virus or Chlamydia (it's a toss-up, really). I suggested he take her rectal temperature.

I realize now, I need help.